I dreaded writing this post because this episode was so boring, even with Miss J.’s larger-than-life Afro wig. I’d like to thank Tyra Banks for giving me ten episodes of why I need to extricate this show from my life—my brain cells thank you.

The final three girls are lounging around their house worrying about who will win, and Chantal busts out her calculator and tells us that two will be going home because there can only be one winner. Thank you, Miss Obvious.

The final challenge is a lip-gloss print and television ad for Cover Girl’s Wet Slicks, which I personally use and love. The winning model’s ads will run nationally. Cycle eight’s winner, Jaslene, rolls up on the girls and gives her impression of being last year’s winner. Unfortunately, I can’t understand a thing she’s saying.

Before shooting her commercial, Chantal informs us that she embodies the essence of a Cover Girl because she loves life. And she reiterates for what feels like the hundredth time that she was born to do this. Ugh. Please stop talking, Chantal.

Jenah’s turn! The cameras roll and she just stands there, staring like a deer in headlights. Take after take she flubs her lines until Mr. Jay threatens her with cue cards. But Jenah knows cue cards come back to haunt a girl at panel, so after begging for one more read without the cards, she nails it. But it wasn’t good enough for Mr. Jay, who thinks she came off snotty in the commercial, even though it’s her way of covering her raging insecurity.

I didn’t think Tootie’s hair could get any worse, but for the shoot, they tucked it behind her ears or something so now she has a mullet with a bowl cut on top. It’s just sad.

At any rate, she uses up seventeen takes before freaking out, but she applies Tyra’s sage advice and asks for a break so she can cry and lean on Mr. Jay’s shoulder of tough love. Like any woman with a broke down weave, she has to give herself a pep talk before getting back out there to finish the job. Just don’t look in the mirror, Tootie. Your make-up will run again.

The final three ladies head to panel to meet their guest judge, Qi Gang, and one’s demise. Tyra forces each contestant to name the girl they think has the most and the one who has the least potential. Naturally, each girl selects herself for the most potential.

Tootie and Chantal pick Jenah for the least potential, and Chantal really sticks it to her by saying she doesn’t want her little sisters looking up to Jenah as a role model. And, just in case we forgot what she said five minutes ago, Chantal reiterates that she was made for modeling. I have a feeling that if you looked at the tags on her clothes, instead of “Made in China” written on them, you’d find “Made for Modeling”—because she is!

After Tootie “Bad Weave” and Chantal “Math is Hard” take their turn raking Jenah over the coals, it’s Jenah’s turn. She tells the judges that she has the most potential and that a good model doesn’t have to be super bubbly or overly cute and it’s OK that she’s laid back. Then she picks Chantal for the least potential because she’s an amateur. There’s a shot of Chantal’s and Tootie’s faces dropping as Jenah gives her spiel, and Chantal even wipes away a tear.

As someone who’s sarcastic and sometimes perceived in the same ways as Jenah has been, I can empathize with her. And just because Chantal and Tootie bounce off walls and are always bubbly doesn’t make them better people or models. Had I been there, I would have given Jenah a high five and yelled, “So, recognize, Bitches!”

Each of their commercials is plastered on the screen for the judges to critique: Tootie has trouble enunciating her words and it took her twenty takes to get it right. But she smiled, which is gold bullion to Tyra. Chantal had bad technique but Mr. Jay thinks she has an innocence (read: the light bulb has dimmed in her head) and looks like the girl next door. Am I the only one who’s noticed her lazy eye? And Jenah’s critique is that she looks like she’s making fun of the commercial when she tried to be bubbly.

She starts to tear up, which Tyra loves because Tyra loves emotion, and tells the panel that she’s always had to be strong because she basically raised her sisters. Tyra waxes philosophical, telling Jenah she has a wall of protection but the crying shows the real her because she’s vulnerable. Yeah, or maybe she’s tired of getting railed on by everyone, including her friends, for not being like Tootie on roller-skates back there and Chantal who doesn’t know any better than to not stare into the sun—but they’re both smiling, so what does it matter? Right, Tyra?

Tootie and Jenah are the bottom two girls, and for one brief second, I thought they might keep Jenah because Tyra got to the root of her issues in thirty seconds. But, alas, smiles are worth more than tears so Jenah is sent packing. The upside is that now Jenah can start smoking again after Tyra banned it for this season. I would have laughed if she had lit up while the filmed her packing to leave. But I imagine Warden Banks does random closet and cavity searches.

Tootie and Chantal face off in a runway show for Qi Gong, and the runway is flanked with people walking on stilts and wearing authentic Chinese clothing. The whole show is pretty boring except Tootie has yet another S.O.S. pad strapped to her head and Chantal takes out an extra with the train of her dress.

The judges yap about who has the most potential, and pick Tootie as their winner. And now people are saying she violated the rules of the show because she was in a national television ad for Wendy’s. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that she knew Tyra before hand, having met her at Tyra’s camp, aptly named (oily) TZone.

Rumor is, this is Twiggy’s last season, too.